Here are poem, but before you read it, here are the three jokes I mention:
Mathematician, Physicist, and Engineer:
In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then, every ten seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half the previous distance apart.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were asked, “When will the girls and boys meet?”
The mathematician said: “Never.”
The physicist said: “In an infinite amount of time.”
The engineer said: “Well…in about two minutes, they’ll be close enough for all practical purposes.”
Violinist at the pearly gates: A violin player dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates he is handed a beautiful new violin and invited to play in the Orchestra of Heaven, a rehearsal of which is about to begin. He sits down and begins warming up. After a while, a little old man with an unruly mane of white hair steps up on the podium and begins waving his arms wildly. "Who's that?" the new violinist asks his stand partner. "Oh," replies his partner, "that's just God. He likes to think he's von Karajan." And here is the golf joke: Jesus and Moses are playing golf in Heaven when they come to the par-three 17th hole, a long carry over water to an island green. Moses tees off with a 3-wood and hits the green. Jesus takes out his 5-iron and says, "I'm going to hit a 5-iron because Arnold Palmer would hit a 5-iron from here." Jesus tees it up and hits a lofted iron shot that finishes 25 yards short of the green and in the water. Jesus shrugs and starts walking on the water to where his ball went in. Just then, a foursome approaching the tee box sees Jesus walking on the water. One of them asks Moses, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesmus Christ?" Moses turns and says, "No, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer!"
and finally, the poem:
“Do you remember
any jokes, Mom?”
stares at me.
Violinist at the Pearly Gates?
and engineer? Nah.
Anything we told each other
as kids is politically incorrect.
“Besides lightbulb jokes.”
He’s heard those.
“No,” I say.
An explanation, and another poem:
Many years ago, I heard a joke told by a friend (he was German) about a Frenchman, an Englishman, and a German. All three are supposed to be executed by being guillotined. The guillotine malfunctions, and the Frenchman and the Englishman are spared.
The punchline is something like:
So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the German yelled out:
“WAIT! I see what the problem is!”
Thus the following poem of mine:
Fixing the Guillotine
Remember the joke
about three men
about to be executed?
The Frenchman and Englishman
are spared, but alas,
the German is an engineer.
Written by Margaret Fieland
Comments Off on A couple of poems about jokes, plus the jokes